Y’all, it’s August and it’s so hot. I’m ready for fall: cooler temperatures, pumpkin everything, and some drizzly days, but I’m already missing our summer freedom. I just filled out our family calendar, and between school and extra-curricular activities, I’m missing the flexibility around family dinner. In the summer, I don’t have to think about what time I need to start dinner to get my kids to an activity, or whether it needs to be a slow cooker meal, or assume we can eat later because we have more flexibility with bedtimes. With our summer schedule, I don’t feel like I have to plan meals so far in advance.
Family dinner together is important to us and it’s easier during the summer when we aren’t working around a packed schedule. Since we do love family dinner and that time together, I thought I’d share why we love it and make it a priority. I also have a few tips that help my family make it happen as consistently as possible; remember, though, that there needs to be grace in everything!
Why we love family dinner:
- We’re together! Even though our kids are only 9 and 6, after-school activities require that we divide and conquer to get everyone where they need to be most nights. Family dinner at the table brings us together. We get to hear about everyone’s days, their highs and lows, and how things are going at school. They spend more awake hours at school and extra curriculars than with us during the school year, and we want to know what’s happening and how they’re feeling.
- Grace! Each night one of us says grace for the family before dinner. I love hearing the kids talk to God. Sometimes it’s basic: “Dear God, thank you for a wonderful day and for this meal. Please be with us this week. Amen.” Other times, they completely blow me away, and I realize my kids notice more than I know. These are the times I see their hearts for God and for others, and it’s beautiful. They hear us talking about those around us, they see when we’re hurting, and they lift people up in prayer in the most genuine, unexpected, and sincere way.
- Fewer distractions. No devices are at the table. This goes for whether we’re at home or at a restaurant. Our kids don’t have phones yet, so honestly, it’s mostly a rule for me and Greg right now, but it’s great to unplug during that time and set that precedent for when our kids are older.
- We know what they’re eating, and they try new things. I don’t like packing lunches. I know moms who make the cutest lunches and I love it! I want to be that mom, but my strengths are elsewhere, and that’s okay. Even when I do the cute lunch, I don’t know how much they really eat. And if they buy, there’s a strong chance they’ll just drink the chocolate milk. But at family dinner? I get to pick the menu, dinner is more fun to make than lunch for me, I know how much they’re eating, and I can offer a variety of foods. Our kids like paella now and count how many clams they get. They didn’t like it at first because it’s different, but after a few times they started looking forward to it! This doesn’t happen all the time, but I’ll take wins when I can.
- Our kids are hilarious! We just dig spending time with them. They’re weird, silly, and so funny. We get a front row seat to their personalities around the dinner table.
- They help! Well, they attempt to help, sometimes happily and sometimes under duress. They either set the table, clear the table, and depending on the meal, they help me make dinner. They’re so proud when they cook with me, and when they’re a part of making the meal, 9 times out 10 they do a better job eating it.
- We’re playing the long game. I know at some point they’ll be driving and will have more freedom, so I want our family meals to become so normal and routine, they just assume it’s happening instead of getting dinner on their own. I want it to be an expectation, but also a comfort they can count on. And I’m learning about their favorites. When they come home from college, Colleen is getting chicken pot pie and sausage and sauerkraut, and Jensen is getting salmon patties and tuna casserole.
Why family dinner is important:
We have a fun infographic printable you can use to help discuss this with your family.
Several sites listed similar benefits, but I felt like parents.com was the most concise, and I wanted to offer more than just my family’s opinions. The site has more details on why family dinner is important, but I’ve listed the highlights below:
- “It teaches your kids better eating habits.”
- “It can prevent serious psychosocial issues.”
- “It can curtail weight struggles in adulthood.”
- “It can improve children’s self-esteem.”
- “It improves communication skills.”
- “It can help kids bounce back from cyberbullying.”
- “It can be used to supplement family therapy.”
How we get in as many family dinners as possible:
This is going to look different for everyone. Figure out what works for your family and situation, and roll with it.
- Meal plan. I’ll plan our dinners for the week and go shopping on Mondays. I like going in person, but maybe online order and pickup is best for your family. This way I have all the groceries I need for Monday through Thursday, can prep, and am less likely to call an audible. I don’t usually plan for weekends because there’s more flexibility there, and I need room for going to Torchy’s for spicy queso or to our favorite Greek restaurant, Platia.
- Double up recipes and freeze half. If I’m already making something and it’s easy to double, I’ll freeze half and then I have a dinner waiting in the freezer for a busy night or if I didn’t make a big run to the grocery store. Some meals I do this for are spaghetti sauce, sloppy joes, chili, red beans and rice, fried rice, tuna casserole, taco meat, shredded chicken, and plenty of others.
- Prep early. I stay at home, so I try to prep everything for dinner before the kids are home from school. I’ll cut up the veggies and maybe measure out some of the ingredients. That makes it quicker in the evening when I make dinner. If you work, an option could be prepping for the week on Sundays. I know that weekend time is precious, though, so if Sunday is your time with your family where you just enjoy each other, do that!
- Use your slow cooker or instant pot. I prefer the slow cooker, but I know for some families the instant pot is where it’s at. If we have activities right after school and we won’t be home until 6, that’s usually a slow cooker night so that when we get home, I can just serve it up.
- Be flexible! The best part of dinner as a family is just breaking bread together. This is going to look different for each family and at different seasons in your life. If you’re eating together in the car or pulling out a picnic blanket before soccer practice, that’s family dinner. If you go through the drive through on the way home and eat Sonic together at the kitchen table, that’s family dinner. If you eat out at a restaurant, that’s family dinner. If you can do family dinner once or twice a week and more than that just doesn’t fit in your schedule in this season, treasure that time and find time together in the car, reading and talking before bed, and making the most of the weekends. A sweet friend of mine does breakfast BIG and it’s so cool. She’ll do the whole shebang: eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc. and they eat breakfast together. Her kids are going to remember family breakfast, and I could not love this more. Know your family, where your strengths are, and where your heart is.
I hope this helped you and didn’t add another thing to your plate as we all go into a busy fall season, because you’re doing great. God made you exactly how you are, He knitted your family together in a unique way, and you were made for just where you are.
