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Do you remember the Bourne Identity movies? It’s the classic amnesia scenario where a character doesn’t know who he is or what he’s doing. Can you imagine walking through life aimlessly wandering? Many people do. The thing is, if you’ve never been instructed and affirmed about how and by Whom you were created, you are at a grave risk of being swept away by any number of things. As you are building up your children, make certain that you give them a firm foundation. The things you say are embedded in the souls of your children, so you must consciously tell your children Whose they are, and give them blessings they will receive as their personal truths.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21
You can think of a blessing in one of two ways—spiritual or secular. To want a blessing for someone is simply to want good for another. But to want a spiritual blessing is to want good for another in God’s Kingdom. When you bless your child, you do it with care and precision, not interjecting your own wishes for them but allowing God to speak His desires to your child. When parents interject their own feelings, they tend to say things like: “God made you to be a pastor.” But when we speak these types of words, our thoughts are no longer a blessing; rather, they border on a curse. In the Kingdom of God, we have to let God take control of the Kingdom. Abraham and Joseph blessed their children and told them their futures. But there was a reason God was telling these men the future of their children—they were in the line of Christ! That is complete and fulfilled. We are now in a different time when God most certainly still speaks, but He speaks in different ways.
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
1 Peter 2:9
Here’s an important fact to remember: You have access to the Kingdom of God, so when you tell your kids who they are rather than what you assume to be their intended career path, you are telling them they are part of a Holy Nation. That is a blessing. If they adopt this truth as their own but go and run wild one day, they will know deep in their soul that they are doing things that aren’t them, because they will know Whose they are. On the other hand, if your children aren’t told this truth, when they go and run wild, they will consider it normal, harmless, and simply who they are.
When and how can you give a blessing that affirms God’s love for your children? There are opportunities from formal, milestone celebrations to casual moments where seeds can be planted.
Milestone Moments: From coming-of-age to baptism and graduation to a wedding day, these milestones are significant markers in life that a person can look forward to. Along the way, plan to formally recognize these times. Bless your child by telling them things God would tell them if He spoke audibly, and write them down so your children can read those words long after the event is over. Consider giving them tokens to treasure. Whether it’s an arrow at a coming-of-age ceremony to show they are being released or a plaque on their bedroom wall with a verse they look at daily, they will have physical representations of what you are teaching.
Casual Moments: A daily prayer of blessing over the people in your home is not to be taken lightly. Place your hands on their heads as you speak God’s Word aloud, whether in the morning, evening, or throughout the day. Make it a rule that no one leaves your home without saying “I love you” and hearing it in return. At bedtime, sing hymns together, and when you are in the car together, pray for people involved in the accidents you see. Simply put: be observant and make the most of everyday moments where wisdom can be imparted and love multiplied.
You can be a blessing or a curse. When you curse others, it’s not about them; it’s about you being angry and controlling and voicing those emotions. When you do this, you are speaking death to the soul of another with your tongue, and no matter what you tell yourself, those words live on. At the same time, there are people who have been cursed out loud who are not as negatively impacted as those who have simply been neglected and felt as though they aren’t truly seen or known for who they are. The road is disastrous when someone is sent in the wrong direction. But when you speak words of life to another, you are pouring out blessings that live on; you are telling others the things God wants them to know.
Your children have a sneaking suspicion that they are uniquely special, but they need to hear it in order to truly believe it. Our souls are parched for truth, and speaking truth to your children is your job, not your hobby. Start now by taking up your responsibility, so that the souls of your children will have a firm and solid foundation.
Special thanks to Pastor Dave Carl for giving the Parenting Pathway talk, “Blessing Your Child” at Stonebriar Community Church. Pastor Dave is truly gifted by God when it comes to speaking to the heart of parents and meeting us where we are–and where we should go. He’s seen it all, heard it all, and wants to walk beside our families through it all. So, take a moment and reach out to the Pastor of Family and Children’s Ministries today and allow him to get to know your family.
